f3Ll7b 

#5 CS 


^om  Kam  izmo  #568 

DTTDBDDEaP 

11 


THE    SOLDIER. 


AN  AFFLOUTINtt  NARRATIVE  OF  FACTS, 


It  was  one  of  May's  sweetest  mornings  that  I  meet  a  clergy- 
man of  the  village  of  U *  and  received  from  hgii  an  in- 
vitation to  be  present  at  a  meeting  of  brethren  in  his  church. 
At  the  appointed  time  I  was  thcre,and  with  no  small  satisfaction 
listened  to  icveral  who  narrated  their  Christain  experience. 
It  was  at  this  meeting  I  met  the  subject  of  this  narrative,  and 
heard  from  his  own  lips  the  story  ,of  his  wondrous  wickedness 
against  God,  and  of  God's  more  wondrous  goodncTss*  *nd  grace 
to  him.  He  was  in  full  "  military  costume  ;"  a  young  man  of 
fine  and  prepossessing  appearance,  apparently  of  good  educa- 
tion and  deep-toned  piety,  lie  was  the  last  who  addressed  the 
meeting,  nor  did  he  do  so  till  after  being  repeatedly  importun- 
ed by  the  clergyman,  and  even  then  with  much  seeming  re- 
luctance. Rising  leisurely,  and  fixing  his  eyes  upon  the  clergy- 
man, he  proceeded  as  follows  : 

u  I  was  born  in  this  village,  and  here  reared  by  pious  pa- 
rents, as  many  now  present  can  testify.  My  dear  mother  was 
a  woman  of  more  than  ordinary  piety,  and  my  father  was  a 
sincerely  devoted  and  exemplary  Christian.  Sir,  I  was  as  un- 
worthy of  such  a  parentage  as  that  parentage  was  deserving  of 
the  best  of  sons. 

"  Of  me  it  might  justly  be  said,  I  *  went  astray  from  the 
womb.'  From  my  childhood,  up,  I  wandered  from  God,  til!, 
When  but  a  lad,  I  had  become  notorious  for  mischief  and  wick- 
edness. My  name  not  only  associated  with  the  vile  and  aban- 
doned, but  stood  first  on  their  list.  Often  did  my  parents  pray 
with  me  and  for  me  ;  many  were  the  instructions  they  impart- 
ed, the  warnings,  the  admonitions,  the  entreaties,  and  the  cor- 


2  THE    SOLDIER, 

rectio  itsfL- received  ;  and  many,  too,  the  tears  of  sorrow  and 
anxiety  they  shed  forme.  But. I  was  proof  against  all  their 
efforts,  and  my  heart  continued  hard  and  unmoved  ;  and  I  long- 
ed for  tJbe  time  I  should  be  of  age,  that  I  might  have  it  in  my 
power  to  leave  my  father  and  mother,  and  unrestrainedly  take 
my  fill  of  sin. The  holy  Sabbath  and  the  daily  hours  of  family  de- 
votion I  hated,  and  longed  to  get  away  from.  Many  were  the 
plans  I  laid  and  the  schemes  I  formed  to  get  from  under  the 
parental  roof ;  and  not  because  I  was  in  love  of  a  military  life, 
but  because  it  would  at  once  deliver  me  from  parental-authority 
and  restraint,  I  enlisted  to  be  a  soldier  ;  and  the  more  effect- 
ually'to  get  rid  of  all  and  every  thing  having  the  appearaf.- 
of  religion,  or  even  the  form  of  godliness,  I  chose  to  enlist  into 
a  regiment  then  in  the  West  Indies. 

"Being  the  only  son  and  the  only  child,  it  was  too  much  for 
the  already  broken  heart  of  my  tender  mother  to  bear  up  under, 
and  praying  for  her  unworthy  child,  she  sunk  into  the  peaceful 
grave  soon  after  my  departure.  My  father's  grief  was  equally 
severe,  and  with  tears  he  entreated  me  to  allow  him  to  buy  me 
off.  But  no  ;  my  hatred  of  religion,  and  perceiving  no  other 
way  of  escape  from  it,  determined  me  to  reject  his  kind  offer, 
tip  to  this  time,  my  mother  had  hoped  I  would  repent  of  what 
I  haefdone,  permit  my  father  tobiry  me  off,  and  stay  at  home. 
But,  sir,  the  language  is  not  yet  framed  which  could  paint  her 
sorrow  and  my  hardness,  her  love  and  my  indifference,  on 
this,  to  her,  so  distressing  occasion.  0  the  mercy  that  could 
pity  and  pardon  a  wretch  like  me  !" 

lie  now  wept  bitterly — tried  once  and  again  to  speak,  but 
utterance  failed  him.  When  his  feeling  had  somewhat  sub- 
sided, he  said, 

"On  her  knees,  sir,  with  tears  she  prayed  me  not  to  leave 
her.  'Your  father,'  said  she,  will  buy  you  off.  0,  my  son — 
my  only  son — my  only  child,  do  not  break  your  mother's  heart 
and  draw  down  the  curse  of  Clod  upon  your  own  head.  Think 
of  your  precious  soul.  0,  what  must  become  of  it,  if  you  be  - 
come  a  soldier!' 

"All  in  tears,  my  father  sat  in  pensive  silence  and  beheld 
the  scene.  I  felt  I  loved  them  ,•  gladly  would  I  have  staid  at 
home— but  their  religion  !  It  was  their  religion,  sir,  not  them, 
I  hated  ;  and  to  get  away  from  it,  I  resolved  to  go  away  from 
them. 


THE   SOLDIER.  ?> 

11  My  mother,  still  .solicitous  for  my  everlasting  welfare,  $5( 
when  she  put  up  my  Clothes,  secreted  a  small  Bibl" 
within  the  folds  of  one  of  my  shirts.  This  I  found  not.out\till 
far  at  sea,  when,  on  changing  my  linen,  it  dropt  out.  When  1 
saw  the  Bible  1  felt  mad  with  rage,  snatched  it  up,  ran  on  deck, 
and  cast  it  overboard  as  far  as  I  could  throw  it. 

"W-hen  [joined  my  regiment  in  the  Wc-^t  Indies.,  1  cast  off 
all  restraints,  and  sinned  with  a  high  hand.  The  sins  I  there 
committed  make  me  tremble  and  blush  when  I  think  of  them. 
J  stuck  at  nothing,  how  bad  soever:  I  feared"  not  God— he  was 
»0pt  in  all  my  thoughts;  I  regarded  not  future  consequences,  and, 
«r,  nothing  but  grace  wortfru  of  Gad-^—g 'face  free  and' sovereign  . 
— abounding  to  the  chief  of  sinners — grace  thataee&S  §nd  finds 
the  sinner,  before  the  sinner  seeks  or  possesses  U,  could  hart 
reached  m>j  case.  Some  if  they  will,  may  boast  their  'works,' 
but  T  must  ever  say, 'Not  for  works  of  righteousness  that  T  hive 
•lone,  but  according  to  his  mercy  he  save!  me." 

l>  'Oh.-  (o  grace  how  great  a  debtor  ! 

"1  had  gone  into  the  woo<ls  with  my  companions  in  sin, where  we 
sought  tohideour  guilt  from  the  eyes  of  men,  when  the  souud  of 
distant 'psalm  singing^  broke  upon  my  car.  <  It  was  the  first  1 
had  heard  since  I  left  my  father's  house.  My  attention  was 
arrested  ;  I  stood  still  and  listened,  and  thoughts  altogether 
different  from  any  which  had  heretofore  occupied  my  mind 
laid  hold  upon  it;  and  tears,  astonishing  myself  unaccustomed  to 
weep,  ran  from  my  eyes.  'Home1  stood  before  me.  My  heart 
melted  l'ke  wax.  My  father's  prayers — my  mother's  prayers 
— the  grief  and  sorrow  1  had  caused  them— their  often  mingled 
and  bitter  tears  on  my  account — Sabbaths  at  home — family- 
worship  in  my  lather's  house — my  sins,  my  heinous  sins,  against 
God,  against  my  dear  parents,  q^ainst  many  youthful  com- 
panions, Und  against  my  own  soul— all  came  crowding  upon  my 
remembrance  and  heart,  until  I  trembled  in  view  of  the  wrath 
of  Almighty  God,  which  I  so  justly  deserved  to  suffer,  and 
which  I  thought  had  then  overtaken  me. 

uAt  first-ray  companions  mocked  at  my  distress;  but  as  my 
convictions  and  distress  increased  they  became  frightened,  and 
left  me.   When  I  recovered  strength  sufflcienl  to  rise  —  for  i  had 


4-  THE   SOLDIER. 

fallen  to  the  earth,  I  walked  as  I  could  towards  the  place  whence 
the  sound  proceeded,  where  I  heard  the  voice  of  a  preacher  :  it 
nas  a  missionary  there  preaching  to  a  congregation  of  Negroes. 
(Inpercieved,  I  lay  under  a  bush  and  listened  to  the  remainder 
of  the  sermon,  and  heard  a!so  when  they  wore  a.gain  to  meet 
for  worship.  It  would  be  impossible  to  describe  how  my  nights 
and  days  were  passed  till  then.  I  had  no  Bible,  nor  was  there 
in  the  regiment  a  man  td  whom  I  could  make  known  my  dis- 
tress, or  apply  for  advice  and  instruction. 

"At  the  time  appointed  by  the  missionary,  I  was  again  secret- 
ed behind  my  bush,  where,  from  day  to  day,  I  had  spent  much 
time  in  almost  hopeless  prayers  and  tears.  The  missionary 
came,  but  he  brought  no  comfort,  no  consolation  to  me  ;  and 
at  night  I  returned  to  my  quarters  as  one  that  had   no   hope. 

0  that  night — never  to  be  forgotten  while  I  have  a  mind  to 
think.  I  felt,  yea,  I  believed,  that  God  had  hid  his  face  from 
my  tears,  and  shut  out  for  ever  ray  prayers  from  him.  The 
sermon  served  only  to  call  up  to  my  view  fresh  guilt,  and  more 
terribly  make  manifest  my  exposure  to  the  'wrath  to- come.' 
As  the  messenger  of  God,  it  'found  me  out,'  and  cried  to  my 
heart,  '.  Thou  art  the  man  !'  As  the  '  sword  of  the  Spirit,' it 
inflicte/i  new  wounds  upon  my  mind,  and  tore  more  widely 
open  such  as  already  bled,  till,  as  the  royal  Psalmist  says,  the 
'pains  of. hell  got  hold  upon  me;  I  found  trouble  and  sorrow;' 

"  For  some  time,  despair  and  death  were  before  me  ;  I  re- 
fused to  eat  my  bread,  because  of 'a  fearful  looking  for  of  judg- 
ment and  fiery  indignation  which  shall  devour  the  adversaries.' 
Awful,  indeed,  was  the  realization  I  then  experienced  of  that 
truth,  'There  is  no  peace,  saith  my  God,  rto  the  wicked.' 
There  was  none  forme;  in  my  thoughts  of  God  none  ;  in  the 
recollections  I  had  of  his  word  none  ;  none    in   my  own  heart. 

1  could  find  none  on  earth — I  expected  rone  in  heaven. 
Thoughts  of  the  past  were  dreadful — I  trembled  at  the  pros- 
pect of  t\iQ  future.  I  was  afraid  to  look  up  to  God — I  thought 
him  my  enemy.  Perish  I  could  not— pray  I  dared  not — and 
what  to  do  'to  be  saved,'  I  knew  not. 

"My  former  companions  now  came  about  me  in  crowds,  some 
roaxing  me,  others  swearing  at  me,  many  laughing  at  me,  but 
all  mocking  me.  With  much  feeling,  I  reminded  them  of  the 
fearful  extent  to  which  T  had  run  in  the  ways  of  sin  and  folly — 


THE   SOLDIER. 


5 


that  they  had  prompted  me  on,  and  madly  followed  after— and 
that  it  \vas  of  tjic  ''Lord's  mercy  we  were  not  consumed  !"  T 
fearlessly  made  known  to  them  the  change  which  had  taken 
place  in  my  mind  :  what  now  were  my  views  of  the  sins  with 
which  we  were  then  chargeable — of  myself  and  of  them  as 
transgressors  in  the  sight  of  God;  and  what  would  be  the  sad 
and  everlasting  consequences,  if  we  persisted  in  our  wicked 
courses,  and  refused  to  repent  and  turn  into  the  Lord.  "With 
many  tears,  T  told  them  how  Itrembled  before  God  for  my  elf 
and  for  them;-  that  1  would  cheerfully  submit  to  any  punish 
raent  they  could  inflict  upon  me,  could  [  undo  the  sins  they 
had  led  me  to  commit,  and  avert  from  them  and  myself  the 
misery  to  which  the  guilt  of  those  sins  exposed  us  as  transgres- 
sors of  the  righteous  laws  of  Hod,  destroyers  of  the  souls  of 
others,  and  despisers  of  his  Son  Jesus  Christ.  I  spoke  to  them 
of  sin,  of  hell,  of  God,  of  the  judgment  to  come,  as  I  then  felt, 
and  which  tiny  too  felt;  and  I  continued  speaking,  until  not  a 
voice  was  to  be  heard  except  my  own;  yea,  till  all,  either  from 
fear  or  shame,  walked  off  and  left  me,  a  'prey,'  as  before,  to  tfcv 
own  fears  and  sorrows.  The  whole  barracks  now  rang  of  the 
new   'Christian/ 

"  1  had  gone  to  almost  every  man  in  the  regiment,  inquiring 
for  a  Bible;  but  no  Bible  was  to  be  found.  An  officer  hearing  I 
was  in  search  of  a  Bible,  sent  me  vord  to  call  upon  him,  and 
he  \ypuTd  give  me  one.  My  heart  leaped  for  joy,  and  without 
delay  1  waited  upon  the  officer  to  receive  it  lie  sat  for  a 
time  staring  at  me,  then  handed  me  a  small  package,  carefully 
wrapped  up  and  sealed,  with  the  inscription  'Holy  Bible1  writ- 
ten upon  it.  t  thanked  him,  praised  the  Lord,  and  hastened 
back  to  the  barrack -room.  You  may  imagine  what  was  my 
disappointment  and  mortification,' when,  upon  opening  the 
wrapper,  I  found,  instead  of  a  '  Holy  Bible,'  a*  dirty  pack  of 
cards  !  This  act  of  an  officer,  emboldened  my  enemies,  and  the 
room  rang  with  shouts  of,  'Well  done'— Served  him  right/— 
'Just  as  it  should  be,  my  boys,'  etc. 

"As  a  retreat  from  my  persecutors,  I  now  spent  much  of  my 
time  in  the  woods,  under  the  bush  where  I  first  heard  the 
missionary  preaching  to  his  black  congregation,  and  where,  in 
my  supplications  to  God,  I  prayed  to  he  directed  where  I 
might  find  a  Bible.    You  may  judge  of  my  surprise,  when,  one 


6  THE    SOLDIER. 

day,  on  coming- to  my  bush,  1  found  under  it  a  new  Bible. 
Overcome  with  joy,  1  fell  upon  my  knees,  and  thanked  and 
praised  God  for  the  gift.  When  I  had  finished  my  devotions,  I 
heard  a  rustling  among  the  bushes,  as  if  some  one  approach- 
ed me;  I  looked  whence  the  noise  proceeded,  and  to  my  great 
joy,  saw  the  missionary.  He  informed  me  that,  on  a  previous 
occasion,  while  waiting  for  his  congregation,  he  overheard  me 
praying  to  God  to  direct  me  where  I  might  obtain  a  Bible — he 
had  brought  me  one,  and  had  listened  with  pleasing  emotion 
to  the  thanksgivings  I  had  rendered  to  God  for  it.  'It  is  need- 
less to  any  that  he  inquired  into  my  history  and  the  state  of 
my  mind,  all  of  which  I  told  him,  and  that  I  received  from  him  * 
such  instruction  and  advice  as  encouraged,  and  somewhat  com- 
forted my  drooping  and  disconsolate  spirit.  TTc  also  prayed 
with  rnc,  and  frequently  afterwards  did  we  pray  together. 

"I  continued  to  attend  his  ministry,  therein  seeking  for  aSid 
waiting  upon  the  Lord  :  nor  was  it  long  till  he  appeared  for  my 
helo.  'Faith  came  by  hearing,'  so  that  I  could  adopt  the  lan- 
gud|e  of  the  apostle,  and  say,  'Therefore,  being  justified  by 
faith,  we  have peace  with  God,  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.' 
And,  sir,  it  was  indeed  a  peace  'passing  all  understanding, 
staying  and  keeping  the  heart,  and  filling  it  'with  joy  unspeak- 
able, and  full  of  glory.' 

"The  great  questions  now  were,  '  What  shall  T  render 
unto  the  Lord?'  'Lord,  what  wilt  thou  have  me  to  do?'  'How 
can  I  best  glorify  thy  great  name,  and  do  others  good  ?'  For 
this  purpose  \  commenced,  evening  after  evening,  reading 
my  Bible  in  the  barracks.  This  was  met  by  great  op- 
position. To  drown  mf  voice,  some  sung  songs,  others 
cursed  and  swore,  and  many  laughed  and  mocked^  a 
few,  hoA'ever,  night  after  night,  gathered  around  me  and 
listened  with  attention  to  the  word  of  God;  nor  did  they 
hear,  I  hone,  in  vain,  as  it  was  not  long  before,- with  pleasure, 
I  saw  the  ten*' drop  from  the  eye  of  one,  and  another,  and  an- 
other, while  some  in  silence  retired  to  pray. 

"  For  some  time  I  suffered  greatly  for  my  religion  ;  perse- 
cution ran  high  against  me,  and  those  who  could  and  should 
have  shielded  me,  took  pleasure  also  to  vex  and  trouble  me. 
But  in  the  Lord  I  had  a  'friend  sticking  closer  than  a  brother,' 
and  making  'his  grace  sufficient  for  me,'  till   by  my  steadfast, 


THE   SOLDIER.  7 

unflinching,  ami  upright  Christian  conduct,  1  put  persecution  to 

I  shame — I  might  say  at  an  end. 
"Finding  that  neither  their  frowns  nor  threats  could  terrify, 
_  nor  their  smiles  allure  me  from  the  paths  of  virtue  and  religion, 
'  and  that  they  never  set  upon  me  for  that  purpose  but  they  had 
to  retire  foiled, and  with  a  deeply  wounded  conscience,  the  Lord 
assisting  me  to  speak  his  word  with  all  boldness,  they  let 
me  alone — apparently  more  afraid  of  my  attacking  them,  than 
manifesting  any  disposition  to  attack  me.  So  completely  did* 
persecution  cease,  that  while  some  appeared  to  fear  me,  1  found 
almost  all  ready  to  do  me  a  kindness. 

"Such  had  become  the  happy  state  of  things  when  the  re- 
giment received  orders  to  return  home.  We  were  soon  cm  - 
harked,  and  when  we  reached  our  native  country,  I  sought  and 
obtained  leave  of  absence,  to  visit  my  father.  To  have  an 
opportunity,  sir,  to  fall  at  his  feet,  to  confess  my  sins  against 
/U'ra,  and  to -obtain  his  forgiveness  and  blessing,  had  long 
and  ardently  been  desired  by  me. 

"Filled  with  deepest  contrition,  and  fondest  hopes,  I  hasted 
home.  At  length,  the  'natal  village,'  afar  off,  appeared  to  view, 
bringing  with  it  many  a  guilty  and  painful  reminiscence.  It 
was  at  last  reached  and  entered,  and  my  father's  house  ap- 
peared in  the  distance.  With  a  heart  filled  with  remorse,  and 
impatient  of  an  opportunity  to  give  expression  to  its  sorrowsand 
regrets,  I  hastened  on  to  fall  at  his  fee  t. 

"I  had  not  proceeded  far  up  the  street,  when  T  met  a  fun- 
eral; and  recognizing  a  near  relative  walking  by  the  head  of 
the  coffin  as  'chief  mourner,'!  inquired  whose  funeral  it  was,  and 
was  told,  alas,  alas,  that  it  was  ray  sainted  father's!" 

His  manly  frame  now  shook  and  trembled.  Tears,  many, 
Mowed  from  his  eyes,  and  grief,  that  we  all  felt,  sealed  his  lip's. 
When  he  had  sufficiently  recovered  so  as  to  bo  able  to  apeak, 
he  said, 

"  I  turned  about  and  followed  after  it  as  1  could,  At  the 
grave,  I  threw  myself  on  his  coffin, -sjmrcely  conscious  what  I 
did,  or  what  I  said.  Those  in  attendance  not  having  before 
seen  me  in  my  military  costume,  and  not  suspecting  but  what 
I  and  my  regiment  were  still  in  the  West  Indies,  w.ere  some 
time  in  recognizing  me;  but  no  sooner  did  they,  than  I  could 


fHE    SOLDIER. 

hear  itmuimuririg around,  '  lie  has  brought  down  their  grey 
hairs  with  sorrow  to  the  grave/ 

'"Miserable  comforters!'  0  that  their  accasation  had  been 
false!  But  akis,<it  was  too  true.  It  is  mine — the  guilt  of  the 
premature  death  of  both  my  dear  parents. 

"  'Tell  it  unto  sinners — tell, 
J  am— I  am  out  of  hell  !' 

And  tell  them  more — infinitely  more— that  I,  'through  grace,' 
grace. reigning  through  the  righteousness  of  God  my  Saviour 
unto  eternal  life,  though  'chief  of  sinners,'  can  say,  as  Saul  of 
Tarsus,  'Yet  I  obtained  mercy!' 

*'  Thus,  sir,  I  have  given  to  you  and  to  those  present  a  very. 
brief,  but  faithful  epitome  of  what  I  believe  to  be  the  '  work  of 
God'  on  my. soul.  You  may  have  thought  me  long,  but  'the 
half  has  not  been  told  you.'  The  history  of  my  sins  against 
God — of  such  only  as  should-not  be  named— would  make  a 
book  ;  while  that  of  his  goodness  and  grace  towards  me  would 
make  another.  To  me  belong  shame  and  confusion  of  face 
only.  To  God  alone  urast  be  ascribed  the  praise.  By  nis 
grace,  I  am  what  I  am.  'Not  unto  me,  not  unto  me,  but  to 
God  be  the  glory.'  " 


Hollinger  Corp. 
PH  8.5 


